Christmas for most is the happiest time of the year, and generally it is for me too. However, I think that we should bare in mind that for some, the Christmas period can be difficult to get through. I thought I would make note of some of the things I struggle with in December, and how I try to manage or overcome those struggles in the hope that it might help someone else.
Shopping - Unless you order all of your Christmas presents from Amazon, or start your Christmas shopping in July, chances are you are going to have to go shopping at some point around Christmas. Social anxiety isn't a huge problem for me, but it definitely can be for some, in which case, shopping can be an absolute nightmare. Shops are packed with people, queues are coming out of the door and the shops are way too hot, this gets to even the best of us. For those that struggle the most, here are a couple of strategies that have helped me. First, make a list of what you need to buy before you leave the house, you don't want to spend longer than necessary in a shop unless you have to. Take some water with you and stay hydrated. Go with someone supportive, know the nearest exit's should you need them. And finally, remember to breathe.
Money - At Christmas, bare in mind that everyone is in a different financial situation. I've grown up in a family that have always been able to ensure that I haven't gone without, but I also know that there have been times where my family have struggled. Sometimes it's important to remember that Christmas isn't just about presents, and that we should be grateful for what we already have. When buying gifts, the price of the gift should not matter, if the individual is worth buying a gift for, then they will be grateful just for the fact that you have thought of them. Do not compare yourself to others, and remember to appreciate more than just what is under the tree.
Pressure to be happy - There is a bit of a constant happy buzz in December, which I feel we all think we have to live up to. I can't stress enough that you do not have any expectations to live up to, Christmas or not. If I pretend to be happy, i'm more likely to have a much bigger anxiety or depressive episode that I can't control. Even on Christmas day, i often isolate myself for however long I need just so I can relax. I like to read, watch an episode of a TV series, watch some ASMR or even go for a run. Do something that allows you to switch off.
Loss, change and grief - At some point in life, everyone will experience some sort of change at Christmas. You might have moved house, lost someone that usually sits with you at the table or just had a tough year. Christmas day is a huge trigger for me, when I lost my step-dad I struggled to accept that Christmas would never be the same. I'm no longer surrounded by lots of family, my step-dad isn't here and I've moved into a new house and area. I often wake up with anxiety in the form of a permanent chest pain, I'm extra emotional and I struggle maintain a positive vibe. This has a huge impact on my family. They sometimes struggle to understand my mental illness and see my reactions as ungrateful, miserable or generally annoying. This hurts when I'm doing my best to show enthusiasm, but I don't blame them at all. My advice would be to embrace your emotions, tell your family that you are struggling and there's nothing you can do, talk about how you feel, and remember the good times from before. It might also help to make a list of any positive change, I always remember that the hard times have led to my little brother being here, and there is a magical vibe in the house when a 3 year old believes in Santa!
Shopping - Unless you order all of your Christmas presents from Amazon, or start your Christmas shopping in July, chances are you are going to have to go shopping at some point around Christmas. Social anxiety isn't a huge problem for me, but it definitely can be for some, in which case, shopping can be an absolute nightmare. Shops are packed with people, queues are coming out of the door and the shops are way too hot, this gets to even the best of us. For those that struggle the most, here are a couple of strategies that have helped me. First, make a list of what you need to buy before you leave the house, you don't want to spend longer than necessary in a shop unless you have to. Take some water with you and stay hydrated. Go with someone supportive, know the nearest exit's should you need them. And finally, remember to breathe.
Money - At Christmas, bare in mind that everyone is in a different financial situation. I've grown up in a family that have always been able to ensure that I haven't gone without, but I also know that there have been times where my family have struggled. Sometimes it's important to remember that Christmas isn't just about presents, and that we should be grateful for what we already have. When buying gifts, the price of the gift should not matter, if the individual is worth buying a gift for, then they will be grateful just for the fact that you have thought of them. Do not compare yourself to others, and remember to appreciate more than just what is under the tree.
Pressure to be happy - There is a bit of a constant happy buzz in December, which I feel we all think we have to live up to. I can't stress enough that you do not have any expectations to live up to, Christmas or not. If I pretend to be happy, i'm more likely to have a much bigger anxiety or depressive episode that I can't control. Even on Christmas day, i often isolate myself for however long I need just so I can relax. I like to read, watch an episode of a TV series, watch some ASMR or even go for a run. Do something that allows you to switch off.
Loss, change and grief - At some point in life, everyone will experience some sort of change at Christmas. You might have moved house, lost someone that usually sits with you at the table or just had a tough year. Christmas day is a huge trigger for me, when I lost my step-dad I struggled to accept that Christmas would never be the same. I'm no longer surrounded by lots of family, my step-dad isn't here and I've moved into a new house and area. I often wake up with anxiety in the form of a permanent chest pain, I'm extra emotional and I struggle maintain a positive vibe. This has a huge impact on my family. They sometimes struggle to understand my mental illness and see my reactions as ungrateful, miserable or generally annoying. This hurts when I'm doing my best to show enthusiasm, but I don't blame them at all. My advice would be to embrace your emotions, tell your family that you are struggling and there's nothing you can do, talk about how you feel, and remember the good times from before. It might also help to make a list of any positive change, I always remember that the hard times have led to my little brother being here, and there is a magical vibe in the house when a 3 year old believes in Santa!
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